Have a Blessed Week!
Wow! I don't think there are even any words for the way this day has been woven. God definitely works in very mysterious ways as He reminds me on my journey to become closer to Him. All these years He has been placing puzzle pieces in front of me, but because I thought I needed to do things my way, well, we see how well that worked out for me... So finally I wised up and realized that God really is in control and he already knows how things are going to play out in my life. And most important I learned to trust him completely. I have been able to deal with this day. If this had happened 5 years ago, I would have fallen apart. Now that I have let God have control, when bad days happen, I give myself a few hours or maybe even a day, then I tell myself to put my big girl panties on and life continues. Do I struggle after I've given myself that time, ABSOLUTELY, but I've learned that it's ok. I'm reminded that Rome wasn't built in a day, so if it wasn't built in a day, God doesn't want me to be fixed in a day. It's all in his timing. I spent 7 years of my life trying to get away, and once I did the real journey began. I honestly did not realize how much damage had been done. Divorce is almost like a death, only the other person is still alive.....It's a process. Every aspect of your life is affected, your health, your finances, everything that you took for granted is gone, that security, as crazy as that sounds. All of it gone in a heartbeat, but the really cool thing that You do not realize in that moment is that it is all in God's plan. He is preparing you for an incredible life. And you will probably find yourself asking what you did to deserve the pain that is happening, but it's all to start your journey. To show you how strong you really are, to give you confidence that you never knew you had. That everything they told you that you would never have.....GUESS WHAT! You WILL have it, it may not be today or tomorrow, but it WILL happen. Never give up, keep plugging along and I promise you life gets better. You find out that you can make decisions and if it doesn't go as planned, it really is O.K. I promise you that! So never ever give up, just keep being that train that says I KNOW I CAN!!!!
Have a Blessed Week!
Wow! What a whirlwind these last couple of weeks have been! I really thought I would be able to write my blog everyday, then someone told me, life will get in the way. Me, being the positive person, said "No Way! I will do this everyday and will be FINE! Well.... here it is two weeks later and I finally have a moment to write. I have had the most unbelievable experience these last couple weeks, I went somewhere I never in a million years dreamed I would have been..God saw fit to put me smack dab in the middle of where a tornado went through about an hour from where I live. It was the most emotional, unbelievable yet amazing experience ever. I got to see true kindness towards others. A willingness to help people that they had never met. I watched as a church and community came together as one. It was so refreshing to meet and spend time with these individuals. Lots of tears and laughter and hugs. They quickly became a part of our TNP family. Somehow in between all the craziness I got to go to my first Christian music concert. We were literally feet from the stage. Yet as happy as I was, there was a part of me that felt very silly because I didn't even know the artists that were there. It's sort of been the same with the bible. I was raised in church, I would go with my grandparents when I could. Yet I've never even read the bible. It wasn't until I went on my Emmaus walk that I learned to find verses. It wasn't that my mom didn't try, it just wasn't something that came easy to me, so I never really saw the importance of it. Now I seek it and want to learn. My sometimers kicks in tho and makes it hard to memorize scripture. I'm always jealous of those that can just quote scripture like it's nothing. It seems as tho the last couple of weeks have changed me. Coming back from the disaster I feel as tho I'm changing inside. Something that I have longed for and searched for is finally filtering in. I feel a calmness and peace like never before. Ever since I left that day, I feel as tho I've been trying to find something to complete me and make me feel as tho life was worth fighting for. Absolutely my babies have kept me going, but through all of the mental abuse, I lost myself. I didn't even know how I liked my eggs, that sounds so silly but the craziest things get lost. But just know even tho right now you feel completely lost and helpless, you will learn again how you like your eggs.
He wept? really?!But he's Jesus..I read that verse and it made me realize that we all have days when tears come. It's o.k. If you need to cry then girl..cry.... Believe me I've had those days, when I didn't even think I could get out of bed, let alone take care of two babies and make it to work. See, my life wasn't always like that. I had the "perfect" childhood. My parents were married 35 years, when my dad passed. They were always involved with my brother and I. We did the "family thing", my dad was always in the yard playing ball with us, or my mom was taking us for walks. It was the June and Ward Cleaver type of life.... Little did I know that my version of that would be a living nightmare.....7 years later, multiple bruises, fractures, and yes lots of emotional abuse I found myself starting over with a diaper bag and a sweatshirt and 2 babies in tow. So today I'm starting this blog, to share with you my journey, to encourage you, to cheer you on, and to help you find "YOU!. You are STRONGER than you know! You got this girl!