I'm NOT a victim, I'm a survivor.
My hopes and dreams are for every woman to become the woman God intended her to be. This is a blog about the journey, the trials and struggles and the triumphs over abuse. You are NOT alone. You're stronger than you know.
Wow! What a whirlwind these last couple of weeks have been! I really thought I would be able to write my blog everyday, then someone told me, life will get in the way. Me, being the positive person, said "No Way! I will do this everyday and will be FINE! Well.... here it is two weeks later and I finally have a moment to write. I have had the most unbelievable experience these last couple weeks, I went somewhere I never in a million years dreamed I would have been..God saw fit to put me smack dab in the middle of where a tornado went through about an hour from where I live. It was the most emotional, unbelievable yet amazing experience ever. I got to see true kindness towards others. A willingness to help people that they had never met. I watched as a church and community came together as one. It was so refreshing to meet and spend time with these individuals. Lots of tears and laughter and hugs. They quickly became a part of our TNP family. Somehow in between all the craziness I got to go to my first Christian music concert. We were literally feet from the stage. Yet as happy as I was, there was a part of me that felt very silly because I didn't even know the artists that were there. It's sort of been the same with the bible. I was raised in church, I would go with my grandparents when I could. Yet I've never even read the bible. It wasn't until I went on my Emmaus walk that I learned to find verses. It wasn't that my mom didn't try, it just wasn't something that came easy to me, so I never really saw the importance of it. Now I seek it and want to learn. My sometimers kicks in tho and makes it hard to memorize scripture. I'm always jealous of those that can just quote scripture like it's nothing. It seems as tho the last couple of weeks have changed me. Coming back from the disaster I feel as tho I'm changing inside. Something that I have longed for and searched for is finally filtering in. I feel a calmness and peace like never before. Ever since I left that day, I feel as tho I've been trying to find something to complete me and make me feel as tho life was worth fighting for. Absolutely my babies have kept me going, but through all of the mental abuse, I lost myself. I didn't even know how I liked my eggs, that sounds so silly but the craziest things get lost. But just know even tho right now you feel completely lost and helpless, you will learn again how you like your eggs.